In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera

The time since I have met you,
i have realized that a friend like
you is worth million dollars
So, if u dont mind
.
.
.
.
Can I sell you..

Question: What does Dumbo do after taking aphotocopy?

Answer: He compares it with the original document for spelling mistakes!

Patient: I think I'm spending too long on thecomputer, I'm starting to get spots in front of my eyes.

Doctor: Have you seen an optician?

Patient: No, just spots.

Diplomacy of GAls

They hate it wen u ask their age?
but they wud kil u
if u forget their
birthday.:D

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera

 GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken. Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!

Woman is like blue tooth ,
U r next 2 her,
she stays connected,
u go away,
she finds new device

Man is like wi-fi,
many devices can connect 2him at a time

A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.

Don't after the Meal

Some Realties of Life. "U love someone U marry someone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband. And the one u loved becomes the password of ur mail id"

 If I was an artist, you would be my picture! If I was a poet, you would be my inspiration! If I was an author you would be my story! But I'm only a cartoonist!

 A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!

Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time.

A 5th standard kid wrote in his maths answr sheet:
Dear Math,
I'm sick & tired of finding ur 'x'
Jst accpt d fact dat she's gone!
Move On dude!

Nvr think that U R lik others,
mak others thnk dat they R lik U
Dat's real attitude
So dnt think that U R lik donkey
think dat donkey is lik u..

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending ~ Maria Robinson

HEIGHT OF BADLUCK!
I jst wantd to KISS d Sweetest,
The Cutest
&
d Loveliest Person on dis EARTH
But wat to do,
My LIPS cant touch my CHEEKS..

Madam to student: u scored zero.

Student proudly moves his hand through his hairs...

Madam: idiot! U scored zero marks, not zero DANDRUFF.

In D Xam A Studnt Was'nt Prepard,
Lft D Page Blank
N At D Bottom kept Flowrs N
Wrote
.
"In D Memory Of My Memory,
which Recntly Passed Away"

What an insult:
Boyfrnd: i like ur "teeth" very much.
Girlfrnd (smiled n said): oh really. Why?
boyfrnd: b'coz "yellow" is my favrite colour.

Chikku 2 his GF: Darling, am I the first man U ever kissed?

GF: Of course U r the first!
But y do all men ask the same silly question?

A husband gave the key of his new car to wife
with a warning

"Darling,
If u met with accident, newspapers will print your age!"

What an insult:
Boyfrnd: i like ur "teeth" very much.
Girlfrnd (smiled n said): oh really. Why?
boyfrnd: b'coz "yellow" is my favrite colour.

What is the difference between GHAZAL & LECTURE???
Every word spoken by others wife is: GHAZAL.&

Every word spoken by own wife is : LECTURE..

CHECKMATE
Wn u tel ur gf tat u saw a gal on d street who lookd xactly lyk her n she asks"Was she beautiful?"U cant say no,cant say yes...Checkmate

Why we sometimes write "etc." at d end in examz
Bcoz it means

e-end of,
t-thinking,
c-capacity.
teachrs cnt undstnd r feelings.

QUOTE On a Boy's
T-SHIRT..
.

.

"All Girls r Devils,
Bt My GalFrnd Is Queen..
.
.
.
.
'..Of THEM'

DAD:Beta,why ur sister sitting so silent?
SON:Nothing dad sister asked lipstick
but i gave fevistick that's all

No chip chip
no chik chik....

Make to Smile

Husband & Wife had a fight.
Wife called mom- He fought wid me again, I'm cumin 2 U
Mom- Nahi beti, He must pay 4 his mistake, I'm cumin 2 stay wid u

My BRAVE CHiLDHOOD HiSTORY
I Kicked LIONS Face
I Pulled TIGERS Tail
I Broke CHEETAS Leg

I Threw ELEPHANT
then

TOY SHOP OWNER THREW me Out..

Best song sung by a boy on break up:
"Give me some sunshine..
Give me some rain..
Give me another girl's number..
I am single once again..

Best Proposing Trick:

Giv a ki$$ 2 d gal widout telin nythng. Den say,"I Luv u & If u Luv me den Keep d Ki$$ wid u,Othrwise Giv it back"

Rajini kanth jokes collection

GF: Wat R U Going 2Gift On My B'day?

Bf:Footbal

Gf: Bt I Dn't Play Futbal?
BF: I knw, But U Also Gifted Me "Book"

It is said if u close your eyes, u c the prsn u love d most....

n wen i do tht....

.

.

Slide show begins..!
Dats d fun of being singles

There is a saying:
If u want to be great,You must walk with great people.Seriously

I have no objection

u can walk with me..

A Cute Proposal:- Boy-I Luv U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I'l Die 4U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I Cant Live Without U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I'l Marry U
Girl-Really!
Boy-hattt:-P

Wife:Honey,what is the difference between a marriage and mental hospital.Hubby:a mental hospital U have 2 show improvement 2 get out

A man was prosecuted.The judge asked him,Dont u need a lawyer.2 which he replies,No,I dont need any,Im going 2 tell d truth

2 partners were having lunch when suddenly 1 of them realizes,I forgot 2 lock d safe Y ru worried,We both r here,other said

Dad: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Dad: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Dad: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what’s the difference between u and a dog?

Dad to Tintumon:When I beat you how did you control your anger? Tintumon: I start cleaning the toilet. Dad: How does that satisfy you? Tintumon: I clean it with your tooth brush

UNIVERSAL TRUTH-
Help a girl when she is in trouble,
and she will surely remember you only when she is again in trouble!!!!

Earlier it was either people were 'working' or 'not working'
now its either people are either 'not working' or they are 'networking'!! ;)

There are some fools in this world who always reply "NO" to every question we ask..!

Now you tell me,"Are you Such A PERSON?

Evry students gets opportunity 2 enjoy their student lyf

Bt sum miss those beautiful moments.

nd those stupid ppl r known as

toppers

Only Place Where u feel totally alone..,
Even if surrounded by peopl whom u know..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
(Ayyo, Exam Hall :'(:p

Thought For The Generation:

"If exposure of Body is Modernisation...,

Then Animals are more Modern than Humans....!!!" :D ;)

Today Is Slap Day..

If Ever I Was Angry With U Or Misbehaved U Or Hurt U..

Plz Plz

Just SLAP Urself

Cockroach's
attitude
towards a guy:

" I can make your Girlfriend scream louder than you can!!!.."

I saw U on ROAD 2day.
U wer Luking SO FINE,
Ur face so DIVINE,
Ur walk SO PERFECT,
myHEART stared singing:
"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT",who who :p

Only Love Can Remove your...

Misunderstandings...

Worries...

Doubts...

Fear...

Tears...

and

finally What You Wear!
;)

2 Lady fightng 4a seat both claimig they came 1st
Condctor-Lady who is more Aged shud sit here
Both lady Luked At Each oder & seat remaind Empty..

I used facebook for a few days and got
addicted to it..

But I am studying since I was 4..
..
why the hell I am not getting addicted to it :P

Boy while "Ki$$ing his Gf-
Thanx baby,apna chewingGum mujhe dene k liye.

Girl: Chewing gum nahi hai my luv,
I'm suffering from cough.!! ;-)

Wanna make money through Facebook...??
Go to: Account- account settings- De-activate your Account and Start Working...!! Lolz :-P

Kissing is the best practice 4 lips,
it keeps the lips
wet,
soft,
flexible
and
reddish pink,

so always keep kissing to Swt children Only.

Definition of Cricket-

"Cricket is the game played by 2 Teams and Winning team is Dhoni's Team.." ;)

Newton in romantic mood:
"Love can neither b created nor b destroyed; only it cn transfer from 1 girlfrnd 2 another girlfrnd wid sum loss of money

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up.

 Don't Care

If Some People Don't
Like Me Anymore,

After All
I Am Not A Facebook
Status. . =P =D

Height Of BACK ANSWERING

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?

Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation???

Thoughts become your words, your words your actions, your actions your habits, your habits your character and your character your destiny..